Kellie and my oldest daughter both vetoed this post when I first wrote it about a year ago, so it went unpublished. It may be Kellie's World, but it's Joe's Blog, and I'm posting it. I know full well there's a price to be paid for such brash independence.
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Why is it that when I travel, a certain bodily maintenance function, let’s just refer to it as BM for brevity, does not occur with the same regularity as it does when I’m home? (I’m a former military guy so I like to use acronyms.) In my own abode, I usually BM at about the same time every day. Of course, there’s a little variation, especially if I’ve been up late partying, but there’s a certain consistency to the routine.
When I’m traveling, my bodily systems go haywire; it’s not unusual if I don’t get to BM for days. Sure, it’s also hard to BM at home sometimes, but I always manage to get in at least a little BM. And I don’t know about you, but when I don’t get my BM, I become quite irritable.
I'm not sure what it is about traveling that disrupts this perfectly natural process. Maybe my body just doesn't like to BM in unfamiliar surroundings, which seems strange because normally I can BM just about anywhere: from underwater on a submarine to the lawn in my backyard.
Luckily, there are quite a few over the counter preparations that are quite effective at producing a nice, long, relaxing BM. Since Kellie will be dragging me around the country till late August, it looks like I’ll have to get by with a drug induced BM for the next several weeks.
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For those of you who are not accustomed to the military practice of using acronyms, the bodily maintenance function that I was referring to here is sleep. What were you thinking? Read it again.
Holy crap...no pun intended, the same thing happens to me. I have my schedule at home but when we go away it gets all messes up. I think for me it's the change in daily routine and meals.....but that's just me.
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DeleteI've heard that more and more drivers are pushing themselves too hard and accidentally BMing in the car while they're driving. If you just can't help yourself, responsible driving dictates that you pull off the road, take about an hour for a power BM, and then hit the road again after you're fully refreshed. Safe travels!
ReplyDeleteI did have to read it twice!!!
ReplyDeleteYep, you got me pretty good. I thought for sure you were talking about ballroom dancing.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff here. Well written and makes people think a bit. Ha! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteYep, I totally had BM pegged for sleep. Why on earth would anyone think you're talking about pooping is mystery.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I was about to start getting jealous of your "daily" BM's.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Well done!
Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination
I was also wondering if it was normal to take a BM at the same time every day. That is certainly not the case with me!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff.
Is it normal to BM more than once a day on some days?
ReplyDeleteFunny post, Joe especially with the lead up.
WG
I wasn't in the service but my friends who were say that I can BM with the best of them, any time and any place.
ReplyDeleteIf I am short on time seated is best, but I can do it standing it up too.
What a fun post. We just came back from Turkey and I don't think my wife had a BM for the entire three weeks we were there. My problem runs in the other direction. I've never been in the military so maybe I'm doing it wrong.
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