Sexiest Nationalities

“Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Do I make you randy?” If you’re a typical American female, you’re likely to answer yes to those questions from Austin Powers, at least according to a recent online survey that asked American men and women which nationalities were sexiest. U.S. females put Brits and Irishmen at the top their lists, while males preferred Latino women. I started thinking about how my preferences, as well as Kellie's, matched those in the study.

Sexiest Nationalities for Women:  (based on preferences of 13,259 U.S. Men)	Sexiest Nationalities for Men: (based on preferences of 30,741 U.S. women)
1. Colombian 2. Brazilian 3. American 4. Spanish 5. Russian 6. Dutch 7. French 8. Bulgarian 9. Swedish 10. Italian	1. British 2. Irish 3. Brazilian 4. Swedish 5. American 6. Spanish 7. Scottish 8. French 9. Greek 10. Puerto Rican

Source: ABC News

Typical Czech Female

The list of sexiest nationalities for women looks reasonable. It may not match my preferences, but it’s not far off. I’d swap the Bulgarians for Czechs and replace the Dutch with Norwegians. 

My attraction to Czech women is understandable. They're over represented among the world's top models, and I've spent many lonely hours hiding in the bathroom, diddling through Victoria's Secret catalogs, covertly searching for the perfect gift for Kellie. 

My attraction to Norwegian women is more complicated. One item on by bucket list is to have sex north of the Article Circle at the ice hotel located in Alta, Norway. I've been to Norway at least a half dozen times, always in the summer when the ice hotel is just a muddy puddle. Kellie came with me on one trip but she refuses to return during the dark, frigid Norwegian winter. At one point she gave me permission to fulfill my fantasy without her. She told me I could pick up a Helga in Oslo and take her to the ice hotel. I begged for a Heidi but Kellie refused. During my last stay in Oslo I sent Kellie a picture of a willing young waitress named Helga. I don't recall Kellie's exact response, but I don't believe it was favorable.

Typical British Male

Why do American women love Brits? I attribute it to the House of Spencer effect. After generations of inbreeding, Princess Diana contributed some sorely needed beauty to the royal gene pool, ensuring that even Prince Charles couldn't sire ugly offspring and making all men from the British Isles sexy by association.

 I conducted my own survey by asking Kellie to give me her ranking. My 15 year-old daughter, Kyra, chimed in too. Kellie immediately blurted out, "Italians," which makes sense because I'm Italian. Unfortunately, I had to disqualify many of their subsequent choices, explaining to them that Asians, Europeans and Antarcticans were not nationalities. Once that matter was cleared up I started getting responsive answers. Kellie's knowledge of geography, however, is limited to places she's visited, and while Kyra's knowledge is somewhat better, they quickly ran out of countries and I had to explain that Caucasians, Eskimos and Amsterdamians were not nationalities either. After ten minutes of playing Is This a Nationality, they managed to get 7 of the 10 on the list.

Clearly I'm a typical American male with a predilection for airbrushed supermodels, and based upon Kellie's preference for Italians and Amsterdamians, she's certainly not the typical American female. The only thing Kellie finds sexier than an Italian is an Italian on a cruise ship. That's why we're sailing to Alaska on Sunday.

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