Kellie dragged my butt to its first dancing lesson four months ago while we were cruising aboard the Caribbean Princess. There, a pair of energetic, twenty-something dance instructors, Fernando and Isabella, ceaselessly toiled in a hopeless effort to get my hips moving to the rhythm of a salsa beat. They failed. Undeterred by my lack of progress, Kellie made me attend each day’s lesson. After a week of instruction, I successful demonstrated incompetence in the salsa, the rumba, and the cha-cha. So when we embarked on Royal Caribbean’s Adventure of the Seas, I was fully prepared for a week of ballroom torture.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Booze Battles
From all the traveling that we do you might conclude that Kellie is an extravagant woman, but that would be incorrect, she’s actually quite frugal. Kellie perpetually scours the Internet for looking discounts and special rates, she selects and uses credit cards based upon how many frequent flyer miles she can accumulate, and when it comes to cruising, she employs whatever measures are necessary to avoid paying the exorbitant shipboard prices for alcohol.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Kellie and Joe are in Da House
No, seriously, we’re in Da House; it’s the name of our hotel in Old San Juan. I was a little worried when Kellie told me about the place because she described it as a youth hostel. I don’t how she came up with that description. When I think of a youth hostel, I picture the place we stayed at in Cassis, France, where we had small 8-foot by 8-foot room with a sink, bunk beds, and a shared bathroom down the hall. This place was nothing of the sort. (I'll explain the picture a little later.)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane (I Hope)
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Damn Taxes
California and I had a little disagreement about whether or not I had to file a 2010 tax return. (That was the year I retired and became a civilian again.) They won; I filed. After submitting 18 pages of income tax forms, how much did I owe? Zero, nada, nothing. What a waste of time. Processing my return will produce a net loss for this financially strapped state.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Analyze This
Kellie had a dream. She was walking through a hotel bar one afternoon when she noticed a man sitting on a barstool. She could only see the back of his head, but there was something familiar about his coiffure that made her suspect that the gentleman could be Howard Stern. As she approached, he turned around, confirming her suspicion. “Hi, I think you know my husband,” said Kellie.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Money money money money, MONEY!
Money allows men you’d never expect to have access to very attractive women – just ask Larry King. But money does not ensure that such a man will be able to keep a woman happy – just ask Larry King’s former wives. Lack of money won’t necessarily kill a relationship, but it can add a level of stress that makes staying together challenging. Whatever monetary resources a couple may possess, they need to have a similar outlook with respect to saving and spending.
Monday, April 2, 2012
An Apple A Day Makes Joe Insane
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg53JibY5nJXlhbAvFHszk9A6pAq1XzWFa1N-s7u41GV2J3N2YdQDHh1gA5Td5oKLLcm2yM0TwigGhic05FvWoqAvkfyjswDCtHL54b-GCUodwlPwhwPoMmJZ4MwulD29mmkLnBAzHT7MN/s1600/GrannySmithApple+h165.jpg)
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